The Balrog Bridge

Questioning life's moments.



Recently, we all heard about the guy who announced that he was a non-muslim. The first time something happened like this in public in Maldives. Somehow, I am not surprised, but what did surprise me, is the reaction from the public.

I will have to also announce that I am no longer proud to be a Maldivian. The reason is what I am basing this whole article on. And it is called intolerance and violent extremism, shown by not just the people who beat up this guy during the Zakir Nike show, but by a majority of the Maldivian public.

I was randomly going around on facebook when I first started seeing how retarded and violent some people are. Hate groups have already been born, with people using terms such as these:

higaa meena rajamkuran..........

maran vee maran vee maran vee maran veee

egolaa maraalyma dhen nukereyne ehen bakahtakah egothah fuhpaaakah ,hama rajam aruvaalanvy bodu balaaehthaa dhen mee ,nagu keysaru

eynaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa maraaaaaaaaaaaaaaalaaaaaaa
a...................koshalaa........chas kolaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,,,rihaya laaa kakaalaa.

Believe me, the only ones who commented weren't only deranged men, but weirdly unintelligent women as well. I wonder when we fell to such a state. Out of all these comments, only 5 or more comments involved saying "let's try to give him advice and bring him back". Now, you can imagine how violent people are.

If he is killed, believe me, if he is killed, that marks the end of the road of freedom for Maldives in a lot of ways. Mohamed Nasheed (Anni) can officially say goodbye to that Nobel Prize he wants so much. I never even IMAGINED what kind of people I was living alongside with. People say that something has to happen for your true colours to show, and we are seeing that all too very well right now.

Maldives, even historically, has been known to provide for a people, who were following a great culture and tradition, and were known for their unity, respect to each other and the peace all around. However, I have known for sometime that the "respect" part and the "tolerant" part of that society has been long gone for somewhile. But I always respected that people will not go to an extreme level in terms of violence. Think again. People are calling for a man to be beheaded, or tortured before being killed. And some people, are declaring they want to do it themselves. I wonder what is more wrong here. Him declaring he was not a muslim, or them declaring they would be happy to kill the guy.

Seriously, I am disappointed. I thought people would be saddened and try something good for this guy. Why don't I see this? Why do I see hate groups? Killers? Do Maldivians get some pleasure out of this? Personally, I don't care if half of our population say that they aren't muslims anymore, because then there would be sort of a civil war, and people will realize how bad violence is. As a lot of people I am with say a lot, "How much more emo can you get?" As for Maldivians, I have to say "how much less of a human will you become".






This is probably one of the most enjoyable articles I would have written. Well like I promised earlier, I come to you with The Balrog's Exclusive 10 ways to dump someone. However, I have to give a brief introduction on how things will work here. First of all, all these tips are from stories I have heard, and mostly based on very logical steps. For these 10 ways to work for you, you need to be confident, and you seriously should know how to act and lie. Also, this is not the type of article for the person who just has to tell the truth. Furthermore, please, don't attempt any of these through texts, because that = EPIC FAIL! So, ready to dump that person who you thought at first was awesome, and then faded to a singing chipmunk? Here goes.

#1: The Exam Lie


For this one to work, you have to be somebody who is currently studying. Well, you should be studying something, because exams are going to be what you are going to use to dump the person. First of all, MAKE SURE you don't like the person anymore, and you seriously need to dump her/him. Now, take things a bit slowly, and approach the person. Talk to her (Lemme make the person a her from now on, easier for me :P ) about these imaginary problems you are having with approaching exams. Throw in a couple of bombs from your life, or something you picked out from tv apart from the exams which is making your life a living hell.

Now, once you are sure that the target knows of your problems enough, after days of talking about it, it is time to throw in the fatality! Approach her, and tell her, that you need a "BREAK" from relationships, until you fix your current "problems". "Are you breaking up with me" is the expected question, with an 80% chance of occurring. Say "yes" with this suicidal look, and make the person feel sympathy for you. Well if this all turns out good, finish off with a hug and say that you will contact her when you're done solving your problems. Otherwise, well, take in a lot of yelling, but don't say anything. If you do and argue back, you are actually blowing your cover, and your sympathy card will go to ruins. Now, once you are done with that, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye! Mission Successful!


#2: Kill a family member


Remember the acting and lying skills I said you would need. Well, this one requires it, big time, and that's because you are going to kill of a family member. Well, not kill, but "kill" as in, the person dies. Well, atleast that's what you are going to tell her ;D So first of all, if you think you are going to break up, tell the person on this random day in this random convo that a close family member of yours, is suffering from a "terminal" disease. Be all sad, talk about how close you were and your childhood. A lot of people love hearing about childhood, and by talking about it, you are playing the person right into your masterpiece break up!

Make sure, she doesn't forget this family member. She SHOULD remember! Well then, time to get to the harder part. Now, meet up one day, and tell her that, well, you are getting depressed. The reason? The family member is in the "final stages" of the "disease". Make sure she feels all "aww" for you, and then on one rainy night, send a text, saying, "He/she passed away. I am going to be busy for a while." The plan is in action ladies and gentlemen, be sure you don't screw up! Now, don't contact her for say, 3 or 4 days. Then, contact her. Be warned that there will be some tension now, with all those not replying or not picking up statements. Well, tell her you are breaking up, because "you think you are not ready to be in a devoted relationship right NOW". That NOW refers to the death in your family. Well, how she will handle it, is none of my business, but then again, don't blow your story! Mission Successful!


#3: I hate serious relationships!

No you don't! You just don't like the person who's in front of you right now. And you just need to find somebody else. Why can't she see this ain't working out? Ok, no worries. Here's what you do. Get into this loooong conversation about where she thinks you guys "stand". Make sure that, despite her being all positive, you are being a bit more "realistic" or negative. However, show this only through facial expressions or by using body language. Smile a lot.....awkwardly! And then, finally, one day, tell her that you are not the type of person into serious relationships. Or, just say you don't like commitment or something, you get the picture right? Now, notice the expression on that person's face. Take notes from that. If you think this is the right moment, go for it, and break up. However, if you think she wants to "talk more" and make things better, just wait. Do it maybe 2 days later, saying you seriously can't handle any of it. Now there is a very good breakup! Well done soldier!


#4: The Trip to Yemen (Friends Reference)

Remember the episode in Friends where, Chandler needs to break-up with Janice, and so tells her that he is moving to Yemen forever? Well, this method, is very much based on this, however, a bit modified to suit your needs since you most likely ain't working in a corporate environment suited to find alternatives to oil...right? So, on one dark and gloomy night, call up your girlfriend, whom you just CAN'T stand now! Tell her, that unfortunately, you have to go on this "trip" to -insert country here- for either one of these reasons. 1: Education. 2: Health Care. 3: Parent's changing jobs. 4: Family wants a new scene. Once you are done with that, expect this question. "WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK?". For the love of god, tell her an amount of more than a year or most likely the "I am going there forever" bit. Now, expect the depression from the break up to hit you like a comet. Share a hug, talk about "things will be alright, you will find somebody else" part. Make sure that you seem like the good guy/girl. Make sure you are THE friend to turn to, despite your unfortunate trip to the next galaxy. One big mistake people make in this is, that they wait another couple of days for the real break-up to happen, where you say the "This is over" part. You HAVE to do it on the same day. Do NOT wait, or otherwise, you are screwing this up, big time. Well, for the ones who did this successfully, well done. Mission Successful!


#5: It's not you, it's me!


Contrary to popular belief, this method actually works! However, it doesn't work for a number of reasons, usually in the way you present the whole story of how its not her, but you. This is an easy method, as well a very complicated one, because this one depends on your build-up as well. Now, tell her that this whole thing is not working out for you. Bring on the bits you would say in a typical "it's not you, it's me" type of break-up. Now this is the important part. Your girlfriend will immediately recognize that it is in fact HER that is the problem. Now comes an offering to change. This is almost like getting close to a check-mate on you. Most people would blow this at that very moment, but remember that this is a break-up and not a calling for a change, because this person is NOT "THE PERSON" you want to be with, preferably for the whole of your life. Tell the person, that it's not a good idea that they are together anymore, and that "moving on" is part of the process. Add in the "There is no need for you to change because there will be a lot of people out there who will like you for who you are" bit, which is essential in this sort of break-up. Similar to the other methods, expect depression and if things go well, share a hug and please, hurry back home! Do NOT pick up any calls from her during your way back, and once you are finally there, get your mind off the whole thing. You will be juuuust fine! Well done soldier! You are half-way there!


Well, that's it for part one. I did not want to make it into just one part because otherwise, this will turn out to be just too long. There are two more parts remaining, with the next part explaining the next 5 methods, and the other explaining the essentials before you break-up with a person.

Remember, relationships are good. However, these tips are only for the people who think they did not end up with the right person, and is desperate to get away. Until next time :P -The Balrog-

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Reasons why I am a Cule



A lot of you who know me, know for sure how big a fan I am of Futbol Club Barcelona, a spanish football club based in Catalonia. I have been a Cule (That's what the Barcelona fans are called) for as long as I remember. Of course, I used to be a Manchester United fan when I was like 5, but then again, I didn't even know the Spanish League existed.

Now, why would I support this particular Spanish team, when there are options in England, and also in Spain itself, in the form of Real Madrid. The reasons, are many, and I just can't even fit all of them into one single post. I have a connection to Barcelona which I can say is more than what I have to my own National football team. Furthermore, I don't see that changing, because I will stick to this club all the way through success and failure.

When I first heard of Barcelona, it was in the day of the Brazilian Rivaldo, playing in the team. I really didn't have time to get into Spanish football at the time, and plus, the channels in Maldives never aired anything from the La Liga. It was all about the English league, Manchester United, Arsenal etc etc. Yes, boring stuff.

However, it was during the time of Ronaldinho and Deco that I really started supporting Barcelona. They won the UEFA Champions League and the Spanish League under Frank Rijkaard, and seemed very unstoppable. A very bad season followed soon, and then, after major changes, came the era of Josep Guardiola and his new Barcelona generation. That was just in the 2008/2009 season, where this great club, achieved something no other team has ever achieved in the past. Six trophies, in all competitions, in one season.

Joy, joy joy! But then again, why this club? FC Barcelona, ever since being founded by Joan Gamper in 1899, has become THE club, with the most culture in it. Cules have a special way for doing everything, and the support and attachment they show to their team, inside the Camp Nou, Europe's biggest stadium to all around the world, cannot be matched by ANY teams I have seen so far. How dedicated are they?! Every big match comes like a festival to the Cules lucky enough to be living in Barcelona. They celebrate, despite winning or losing, and never give up their hopes on the team.

This club, is also owned and run by the cules themselves. This is a very unfamiliar aspect seen in most English clubs, usually owned by multi-billionares. However, it is to be noted that the club, is actually the second richest club in world, closely following behind Real Madrid.

Ever heard of the Tiki Taka style of football? Every wondered why Barcelona boasts an amazing 70-80% ball possession against almost ANY opposition? Yes, that is because of this style of football, incorporated into the Barcelona players coming out of La Masia, their main facility for training youngsters. Furthermore, this is exactly why everybody agrees that Barcelona plays the most beautiful football, in the world.

The club is also famous for having a majority of Catalan players. This is a fact that can make every Cule happy, since most big clubs depend on imported players. Barca on the otherhand, uses players whom they trained in their academy, and most of them are Catalan. Their youth policies are one of the most successful in the world, and have produced amazing players like Lionel Messi, Xavi, Iniesta, Pique, Cesc Fabregas and Victor Valdes. Again, a reason to be proud of this very amazing club!

Let's not forget the coach here. Pep Guardiola, just 39, is an amazing person. Humble, intelligent and hard-working, he has proven himself to be one of the elites in the world with just ONE SEASON! 6 titles, and he did it by beating big clubs, like Real Madrid, Lyon, Bayern Munich, Chelsea and Manchester United! And he still is all humble and very respectful to his rivals, anywhere and everywhere. Like Luca Toni said, Guardiola taught him that to be a great champion, you have to be a great person.

The club's motto says "Mes que un club", which means More than just a club! I have taken this motto to heart, and year after year, FC Barcelona keeps on proving how true of a statement it is.


It's been sometime since I have wanted to write about this, somewhere, anywhere I could find. A lot of people usually disagree with me on this, but I have always, ALWAYS stood by the fact that, love is nothing, but just a mere chemical reaction. My view on it was that, animals and us, we are not that really different. Lions find the best mate, and has babies. If the lioness had babies from another lion, the current father kills all these babies. Only HIS babies can stay alive. Us? Different? No way!

I think I will divide this article into different sections before proceeding. One section, dealing with emotions, the other dealing with appearance and attractions, and the final, mating and failing emotions. Now, let's drive that nice looking car into the first section. Only $300,000+ cars allowed, or in other words, read this, ONLY if you want to, not if you believe that love cannot be defined, its a magical emotion, blah blah!

Section 1: Emotions leading to love


I think, most of you who will most likely read this would have had a taste of what being in love would feel like. It is very weird! Your Oxytocin levels have just reached....a very high level. You so want that person. You really do. To me, that giraffe also wants that good looking female giraffe! Only that, he just wants to mate, nothing else. Human beings on the other hand, or US, we just THINK that we are in love or want to spend time together. However, in reality, we just found somebody, that to the human brain, is a very much of a potential mate. And why?

You see, even us humans need to survive the harsh planet called Earth. We need our population to grow, so as to make sure that our species survive. Well, I think we will never run out of Indians or the Chinese, but still, this is almost as if its programmed into a microchip into our brains. However, most of us, never ever realize this. We just think that, we are in love!

So, then comes the part where you get dumped. Sorry, I will have to laugh at you on that matter (On the side note, I'm planning to write something funny on breakups, with some tactics to help people out ;D ) Most people usually get dumped, due to their personalities or actions. Then again, people tell you, that, they are not in love anymore, due to this and that happening. In reality, it's more like you discovering that your potential partner, with whom you wanted to ensure the passing of your genes onto a newborn, was not really THE potential partner. The moment this hits you, you lose interest. Or better, your brain seriously loses interest, and you just want that person to go away! Emotions have failed.

Same with animals? I don't know, since we haven't really discovered a way to find out their emotions, yet. But what I do know is that, a lot of them do have more than one partner, but that is not really related, is it?

Section 2: Appearance, attraction and sexual appeal

This section is one very important factor in determining that love is nothing but a chemical reaction, going on inside us. So, good looking people, hot people, sexy people, what's this really about? Let's take this from outside the box, starting with the males. This deals with mostly dominance, pride and power.

The proud leader of a pack of lions, roaring into the morning sky of the savanna. There are three young other lions approaching, and they do not like this leader. The leader, is the only one mating at this time, and he does not want his babies to get killed either. So, he roars, claw and fights of these three youngsters, and sends them running, in both fear, and in search for another pack. The alpha lion has won, and has proven his dominance over all others. The lionesses just love him! They get protection for themselves and for the cubs as well.

See where I am going with this? Why do female humans get attracted towards males with larger muscles or just people who look like they can dominate other males. Protection, for both her (considering her as his potential mate) and her future offspring. Why do females just can't usually resist the rich males? Power and dominance, over other males. Even that serves as a guarantee!

Now let's take a look at females. On a modern males viewpoint, he is attracted towards females with larger breasts. Wonder why? Because in reality, his brain tells him that, this potential mate, can nurse his offspring better. Better mate? Certainly! Good for the babies? Sure! Then comes larger buttocks and hips. Modern males have a thing for them too right? Well, this should be mainly because of the brain convincing him that the woman will have easier childbirth, and the chances of the babies surviving this process are higher than other mates. Makes sense? Well to me it does. I also read that women dress their best when they are at the peak of fertility. Again, the question of being attracted, or incidentally falling in love is answered.

Section 3: Mating and Failing Emotions/Love

Love is best at the beginning. This is a known fact. After a while, things slow down, and your previously very attractive and potential mate, becomes boring, and seems like a repeating person. Explains all the mid-marriage problems, usually. After mating, it is true that love grows stronger because of the offspring or the baby/babies. However, we have to wonder, is it really your mate, or does another form of love arise? This time, it's not for your mate, but this time, its for the baby. You become very attached to the baby, and now, you possess something called family love.

However, what most people don't realize is that, the frustrations you are getting without even realizing it from your mate are being hidden by the family love. You want your mate, and your offspring to stay, and to be protected. That ensures that your genes are passed on. That ensures, that you have done the job of continuity of human species. At this point, the love you previously had for your partner is really gone. And the normal sex, doesn't really liven it up either. It becomes more of the usual routine of having your mate happy, and ensuring good health, physically, and emotionally as well.



That's it for my article. Hope it got you thinking. So next time you fall in love, ask yourself, is it just me, or has my brain just found a potential "mate". :P

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Pills for the win?



The mention of the word pills usually takes us in a very wrong direction. Yes, LSD and stuff like that. But I am not really into covering that, since it is covered almost everyday in a different form. The pill theory, which is what my topic for today, is my main concern. And so, WHAT is the pill theory?

Well, it's something that most of us have heard of in fiction, and maybe it's going to be become fact sooner or later into the future. Pills, being substituted for the usual courses of food we consume daily. People have very different names for it. Survival pills, nutrient pills, and so on and on the names go. But it is very common for us to see in these space sagas, when the commander hands the main character a canister of pills and goes "One of these per day is good enough." Or in other circumstances, the pill is being shown as being used for everyday life, without it being much too special. Yes, you find the pill on your plate in the morning, and that's what you have throughout your entire day.

Now maybe, it is going a bit too overboard. However, this is without a doubt possible, and let's face it, we have let go of a lot of things we used to do in the past. Nowadays, we don't even have to walk towards a switch on the wall to turn on most fans! Yes, the heavenly remote!

So why not let go of eating? Saves our time, we get the optimum nutrients to keep us healthy, and no more cheeseburgers to make people fat. Seems like a very bright idea! Plus, this can be actually practical, because imagine the work load on people twenty years from now, if this is what we are facing today. Yes, that is a lot of human effort being used.

Here is one scenario, depicted in one of my favourite animes, popularly known as Naruto. So, Naruto is in battle with a guy called Kiba, who has attributes of a dog/wolf. He owns one puppy called Akamaru, and while they are fighting, he decides to give Akamaru a pill called the Soldier Pill, if I recall the name correctly. One of the spectators point out that the pill can make a soldier fight three days and three nights without rest. Naruto complains about this, but the tactic remains legal, and once Akamaru takes the pill, he turns from cute puppy to ravage beast! Very interesting. Possible? I don't know!
What I am thinking is that, maybe in the future space age, these pills might be our daily food supply. However, I cannot imagine us giving up the art of cooking or simply put, delicious food itself. No more steak, eggs, burgers, fries, ice cream or anything for that matter. Its just the pill. The pill on your plate. There shouldn't even be a plate! In this sense, I am very against it!

But then, I started thinking about the pill in a very different way. One of the problems the world is facing nowadays is hunger. These pills, in the future, if are to be mass produced, can easily take care of this problem, while assuring malnutrition would also be eliminated. The pills will be very easy to distribute, and can all in all, take care of the hunger problem forever! You hungry? Go get yourself a pill! Then, stay full for a very long time!

I know this is a very, weird topic for me to talk about. Then again, out of this blog, you can expect such things. So, I have to say in the end, it is very much upto us to decide if we are going to go on with the pills, or say no to them. It's either the pills, or traditional food. I take traditional food!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

New poll up!

Just added a random new poll for the lulz and a bit of fun :D



Everybody is different. That's why the world is such a great place! Some of you might disagree. You just want to meet that perfect match for you! Urgh, like an opposite sex twin? Oh no, that is boring, atleast for me it is. My view on people is very different. I view people as a bit of a challenge. You can specially see this on social networking sites like Facebook, where the most random person can be seemingly a very interesting person with the weirdest status update. Again, that's is for me, atleast.

So the topic for today will be, my obsession with knowing people. By knowing, you might be actually misunderstanding what I am saying here. Knowing means, REALLY identifying what a person is like. This might take a matter of several minutes to several years. Overall, it is, very tempting, irresistible and very challenging. Three words which I can never live without!

Over the past years of my life, I have met so many people, who are so very different. I specially love meeting and knowing people from places all over the world. It is a journey, believe me. It's almost like they have this infection of carrying around their culture with them. This culture, changes with personality, and that defines your own culture.

I love people who are different. Different is contrary to popular belief, better than being normal. I usually can identify what kind of person you are, few minutes into socializing, although the times I have actually slapped the whole, "you are "insert type here" of a person" into their faces have received mixed reactions. I don't really recall why I actually do that sometimes, but usually, I just need THE reaction. That particular reaction acts as a bit of a confirmation. Most people don't even realize who they are, unless you tell them. Yes, nobody is perfect, that is very true.

I remember once, when I was having this random convo with a friend of mine, and after talking, I suddenly discovered her personality weakness (according to me atleast!), and decided I would say it. I did, and the reaction was one of the worst! Yes, there was the very upset face, and the saying of "that is very rude and so not true" part. Well, get this, others are like mirrors to that personal culture I was mentioning before. You will define it, but you can never realize how you are defining it until somebody tells you.

In the end, this is a bit of an obsession for me. I usually never really tell others what kind of person they are, until I feel the conversation or relationship is going towards a very interesting, different and amazing way or when it's just going nowhere. Sometimes, its just telling a person how great and different they are, and otherwise, its just telling them how crazy or ungrateful they are. The reactions? A smile or a smirk or whatever. Priceless, especially those heart warming smiles. However, maybe that won't be so unless you slap the person's weaknesses into their faces and tell them to deal with it (yes, now you can lol). Either way, I am obsessed with this, and I have to tell you, it is great! To be able to know what a person is like, even when they deny it, is amazing! By deny, I mean even when you tell them how interesting they are!

Well this post told the reader a lot about me as well. Yeah, you can be my mirror now haha!




Alright, now it has been sometime since I last wrote an article. But my constant time looking outside a van's window while coming back to school after watching Iron Man 2 (was great, best movie this year so far!), my insane mind gave me so many ideas. Well, that's about when I realized that I have to write about our most precious possession, and the one which we are losing, at a very fast rate.

What I am talking about here is called Humanity. Yes, a characteristic that every human being was, in truth, born with. We have all seen or heard about people suffering from inhumane acts, around the world, here in Maldives etc etc. However, being the very "I love asking questions" type of person, I wonder WHY they are all happening. Let's take an example, bit closer to home.

Now, it is a very well known fact that racism is in fact very prevalent in Maldives. But wait, there's only one race in Maldives, right? Yes, that is true, but I am not talking about racism within Maldivians. What I am talking about here is the racism towards Bangladeshis. Honestly speaking, most of us have up till now, failed to realize that they are also human beings. Without realizing it, we just lost our humanity. The amount of stories about violence and abuse towards them is laughable, because of the size of the country itself.

In the outside world, this is even more disastrous as people keep on doing inhumane acts, every minute of every hour. However, a very important fact here is that, if the level of humanity that we want in every person (the optimum or maximum level) exists in every human being, then crime won't in reality exist. Poverty and orphans won't exist. Who would want to rob? Who would willingly take a gun and shoot at another? Who would just throw away their loved ones to beg for food? Nobody!

Recently, I watched this movie called District 9, and I suggest it to everybody who wants to explore the question of losing humanity in all of us. In the movie, the main actor, gains more humanity as he loses more of his human self. Now there is something very interesting!



In reality, I still don't know why humans, well, most of them HAVE in fact lost everything inside them called humanity. Maybe that part of you kicks in at the extremes, but that usually just never happens does it? Somehow, we are losing the most precious item that we own, without us even knowing it. What a way to be robbed!