Stan, using Facebook. Yes, I watch South Park.
Ah, Facebook. The social networking site which revolutionized the world. We share everything with everyone now, using Facebook. People have talked about different types of people on Facebook, long before me, on blogs, vlogs...you name it. It has been done. However, this is MY list, coming from using Facebook for a pretty long time now, and below, are definitely the types of people I hate most on the entire site. Considering I'm going to share this post on Facebook, you might be surprised to find that you are in fact, in one of the categories below. So, let's begin. Oh, and thanks to Samooh sometime ago for inspiring me to start writing shit again!
10: The very obvious virgins
They are everywhere, you just need to block them.
Notice the dudes, who pretty much have every girl on Facebook on their friends list, and "likes" and comments on pretty much all their posts, pictures and so on? Now, it's alright if these people knew each other and all but they don't, and when their posts appear on my news feed, it tells me only one thing. These dudes, are desperate virgins. Now, I'm saying that as nicely as I can, and well, if you're a chick, you probably know what I'm talking about. However, the funny thing is, when these idiots accidentally hit on chicks who also happen to be desperate virgins, it creates this storm of very dumb, ignorant facebook activities. These people are likely to be hardcore stalkers too, so do watch out. Now, I'm just giving you a warning, but my message to them.....please, call a hooker or something, or even fly over to Thailand if you prefer the more exotic fucked up shit to relieve you of your misery.
9: That's not really me.
You have got to be kidding me!
You have got to be kidding me!
You have probably met or seen many people who fit into this category. And yes, I hate them like I hate Jose Mourinho. These are the idiots, who put up a random photo, as their profile pictures, and the types of pictures they put up really does amaze me. Some people put up pictures of supermodels, showing how insecure they are. Others, might put up a picture of a person from a movie, television series or even something like an anime. What does this show? Insecurity. And last but not least, people who put up pictures which make no sense at all....like a landscape, a fish, a flower, or even bacteria. What do they hope to achieve here? Anonymity? Really? Why are you on Facebook then? Be anonymous elsewhere, like a Nazi gas chamber (Yeah, I want you there). Again, what does this show? Insecurity. WHY the hell, are these people on Facebook if they are so insecure about their lives?! Oh you expect me to answer that? Believe me....if only I knew.
8: The very obvious pedophiles
In the Maldives....
In the Maldives....
I laugh everytime I see one of these people. In short, these people are just like number nines (see number nine above...), only, they are older. By older, I mean old enough to qualify them as Chris Hansen worthy. When these idiots comment on younger girls' photos and shit, the whole thing becomes apparent. No, these are not their dads, or uncles or whatever you might come up with as a response. A dad or an uncle would not post comments similar to what these idiots post. What intrigues me though is, how or why these girls (why not guys you say? well, I haven't seen such a thing...yet) have these dudes on their friend list. What are they trying to achieve here? Are they THAT dumb? Well, to be honest, I think they all probably are, considering the lack of intellect found on Facebook. What are the obvious pedophiles trying to achieve? I'll leave that question to you.
7: We are mysterious....please like this.
WHAAAT?
WHAAAT?
You know the people on Facebook, where all their status updates, and pretty much every activity is mysterious? For example, someone might post a status which goes like..."I'm feeling down today, and I think I know why....". Then somebody would probably comment saying "And why is that?" to which the reply from this asshole is, "......". What? What just happened here? This person is so fucking mysterious, that he/she deserves an award. Yes, I do say mystery is awesome, but this? This isn't mystery! This is being a plain retard, and an attention whore. The good thing is, this sort of status updates have become so common, they don't really get much attention these days. Even the other idiots have come to a realization, that these people deserve to be shot (Oops, that's what I think). I do not know HOW they come up with the shit they come up with (wow), but they are all pretty much the same. Boring, lame, uncool, ignorant, and really don't deserve to use a computer. Imagine some genius azn (asian) who couldn't afford a computer was given the chance. Instant fucking win. I mean come on, these guys sell organs to buy iPads!
6: Girls who need to get laid.
It's true.
These girls need to really shut up. When they take all their problems onto Facebook, and whine about it 24/7, my news feed gets ruined. And that's a problem. My news feed needs to be as awesome as possible, with no bitching by bitches. Yes, Facebook is where you share, and when you share, people give you feedback. This is the idea. However, when some random girl talks about how bad their relationship is, or has a Facebook argument with another girl which usually goes like this..."(On Status) You know who you are. Stay away from this dude, -insert rant here-", it becomes very annoying. Why don't they tag that person on their post? Why does it have to be so....weird? Yes, people can whine, but not everyone's whining gets to me as much as when this happens. I usually mark these posts as spam, and secretly wish that Facebook accidentally removes them from the website.
It's true.
These girls need to really shut up. When they take all their problems onto Facebook, and whine about it 24/7, my news feed gets ruined. And that's a problem. My news feed needs to be as awesome as possible, with no bitching by bitches. Yes, Facebook is where you share, and when you share, people give you feedback. This is the idea. However, when some random girl talks about how bad their relationship is, or has a Facebook argument with another girl which usually goes like this..."(On Status) You know who you are. Stay away from this dude, -insert rant here-", it becomes very annoying. Why don't they tag that person on their post? Why does it have to be so....weird? Yes, people can whine, but not everyone's whining gets to me as much as when this happens. I usually mark these posts as spam, and secretly wish that Facebook accidentally removes them from the website.
5: Copypastas
You do it, don't you?
I think these are the biggest idiots on the entire website. They virtually copy and paste, EVERYTHING. Every status update, every picture.....EVERYTHING. You'll see people who post shit like "80% of people hate rock music. If you're part of the 20% that still love rock music, put this as your status". Why? Is this claim even proven? Where did this survey take place? I would love to know. But that's the general idea. I think some people go as far as copying status updates available on random websites, and how do I know this? Well, two people having exactly the same status update which is intended to be smart, motivating or something similar makes the situation very clear. Oh, and when people who don't usually type proper english post a very intelligent status update....you know something's wrong. Well, that's just the status updates. There are people who are just not individuals. They are well....just another part of the group of idiots. Copying and pasting pretty much everything. Please, die.
4: People who can't type properly.
If dis hppns....ill dy of hapinss!!!11one1!!!
It is fun to read what these people type on Facebook. They don't really make any sense, but you just read whatever they post, for the laughs. I do it, yes. But when I'm not looking for laughs, or while engaging in a conversation with one of these retards, they piss me off with every single word they type. Vowels are missing, weird abbreviations are used, and they make absolutely no attempt at using understandable grammar. How hard is it to type in a sentence properly? People ask me why I don't chat on Facebook often despite being online, and well, now you know. I prefer talking to everyone on Facebook other than the ones mentioned here. It's a serious matter of epic proportions.
3: You suck at Photoshop!
These guys ran a show called "You suck at Photoshop". It was awesome.
Ah, the times when people who post horribly photoshopped pictures all over Facebook. The funny thing is, after adding in a couple of filters plus brightly coloured text all over, they actually believe that had done a good job. Now,I'm not going to include every beginner in this category, as these people actually take criticism and try to learn, with the results becoming clear fast. The people I want to talk about, post horrible pictures of themselves which had gone through disastrous editing, and talk about how "pro" they are. Funny, they even get tons of likes and comments from their buddies. How many of these likes are really out of pity? No, I don't like out of pity, I just don't like these disasters at all. If someone told you that, anybody can use Photoshop well after a while, it's a lie. Not everybody has the talent to make what friends of mine make with so much time and effort put into their work. Now that is brilliance. If they edit their profile pictures, the pictures are just wonderful. Bravo! But then, compare that sort of work, with what the self-proclaimed pros create. It's funny how they all get worked up when I, being the truthful soul I am, post critical comments. But here's the message. You really do suck at Photoshop. Please try another hobby, like collecting stamps or scrapbooking.....whatever that is.
2: The self-righteous....on Facebook.
"Oh, go pray while I visit Redtube" - Anonymous self-righteous person
I sometimes....always wonder why these people exist on Facebook. That's right. The self-righteous religious people. The "we are good, you're bad" types. The ones who have no real input other than to say how bad something you're doing is. Well, it's easy to recognize these people in all honesty. They put up copypasta religious statuses....a lot. And the most horrible people in the world will like these statuses, almost as if doing so is affirming their "strong" beliefs. It doesn't matter what belief you have, I see these people all over Facebook. Keep all that to yourselves. Go preach elsewhere, or satisfy your need to be affirmed of your strong belief elsewhere. OR (this I say to a lot of extremists where I come from), go blow yourself up in a fucking river. Yes, most of their posts are marked as spam and I do make sure their useless insecure posts don't appear on my news feed.
1: Facebook emos.
God damn it! Fucking kill yourself already!
Sure, there are people with horrible lives, like kids in Darfur, where they don't have food. However, when people who love to think of themselves as emo whine about everything in their lives being bad, it gets to me in a way nothing else gets to me. I just wanna take a rail gun, and shoot every one of these people. Their poems, their status updates about girls who don't even exist, or relationships which never happened are fucked up on so many levels. Go outside, enjoy the sunlight. No better, do us all a favour and kill yourself. Many of these people talk about cutting themselves or something similar.....I'm not convinced. I don't believe that these idiots do anything that they claim to do, yet alone think of committing suicide. The thing is, nobody likes you, pretend emos. Nobody feels sorry for you, and nobody will. You're whining, and your mom is the only person who would probably give a shit. Not this "girl" you talk of once in a while....every single minute. Ah, and the fake pictures they have up as profile pictures. Some emo shit grabbed off Google image search. I bet this is because many of them don't even own eyeliner (assuming that's what emos in general do). So please, either get the fuck off Facebook, or kill yourself while cutting your wrists. Thank you.
And there you have it. Make sure you leave a comment! (or share if you see this on Facebook).
And there you have it. Make sure you leave a comment! (or share if you see this on Facebook).
